“Will you just get out of my room”, she screamed “No I won’t, do whatever you can” he shouted. Cock fights were very common between Sana and her brother Saliq day and night they used to fight on pity issues, there was always a fight going on between them. “Mom please get him out ,dad please come here”, Sana shouted at her full voice “what happened dear stopping shouting” , her mother said taking a step forward her mother angrily bursting upon Saliq said “get out let her study and you too do the same, go in your room “, “ah I know mum, you love her more than  me but I can’t help it ,say whatever you want I hate you both for loving her more than me”, “oh dear , okay fine we love her more than you ,okay with it? Now move out” she said, Saliq  giving an angry look to his mother he moved out banging the door, whispering to himself “I will not spare you for this”. And the fight was over finally, passing a smile she said to Sana “Sana he is your younger brother you should take care of him you know he is stubborn you know this very well still, God be with you both, I am tired of your fights now”. “Mom just chill he is like that only anyway I may take some rest now”. Sana said. Taking her pillow and blanket over head she bluff herself on bed asking her mother “mom what date is today?” “It’s 16  sept 2015 sleep now and keep your phone aside its 11 now” and she  closed her eyes to sleep .Soon she was in a deep sweet sleep. Sana was an individualistic type girl she didn’t use to care about what people said and used to live her life freely, she was in her teen age and had beauty with brains. Suddenly she woke up and this was for the third time this thing had happened with her ,she was sweating badly unable to move tormenting  with her bad condition she finally stood up and drank some water, she ran quickly to her mother and said “Mo….m, again it happened with me I don’t know what is this all I just don’t … please help me” her mother observing her erroneous condition asked her to sit and relax and saying “oh dear it’s all about tension, disquietedness  and anxiety don’t worry you will be fine soon” “it isn’t about tension and all its something different why don’t you understand?” “It is just nothing but the result of worrying a lot and yes your novels, you keep reading them day and night stop that and you will see the change”, Sana perfectly understood that her mother was not going to understand any little bit of what she is trying to verbalize , so she went out and said “I wish you could ever understand me”, and went to his brother “ah let us stop our fight for a while I need to tell you something” Sana said “okay done than we will continue the fight” Saliq said, sitting with him on the bed she started “Do you think seriously I have any sought of tension anxiety or anything else that the doctor has said and what mom keeps musing?”  “Well not at all, I guess” his brother replied. “I don’t know what to do , seeing blood in dreams and then waking up all of a sudden unable to breathe unable to move feeling of death ,how can this be tension” .,Sana sad in a sad tone. “I think we should go to well-known scholar who can help you out with it “said Saliq.

A very strange thing was happening with Sana these days she used to go to sleep and after a while of sleep used to have a break through experience, seeing a peculiar  place in her dream, blood everywhere on the streets and people ebbing and shouting this was what she was seeing in her dreams from last two three days, it wasn’t this thing that was bothering her what was bothering her was even more perplexing  ,later  when she used to try to wake up she wasn’t able to do so at all she was a sought of caught in that world of dreams, she used to wriggle and thrash with both the worlds the dreamy one and the real one she used to try to get out of dreamy world and enter reality but she always strife and finally skirmishing she used to wake up in an adheres condition sweating and breathless  used to feel the pain as if she was really in some world.

Keeping all things in her mind she finally decided to go to some scholar with his elder cousin and brother. They too decided to accompany her they went to place where this scholar lived it was a dark side place almost in an extreme of a village where no one used to go and come very often. Entering the place with fear she looked around the room there wasn’t the scholar only but the whole team some old ladies perhaps she could guess by their face they too were scholars and some old men too .knocking the door of the room where everyone was busy in work and looking to her brothers she said “can we come in” at the very moment everything in the room paused for a while every face was looking at Sana now,  there was deep dark silence in the room and after a minute or so one lady replied as if knowing what she had come seeking for “only you come in rest wait outside”. Sana went in with a fear and his brothers went in waiting room .the lady asked her to sit on the chair which was placed in the middle of the room as soon as Sana sat down on that chair the scholar said “be clear and speak whatever is in your mind’’ listening to this she started abruptly all things that she was going through the scary dreams and her parents and doctor thinking it was just the tension she spitted out everything, after sometime scholar said in deep tone “do you have enemies?” As soon as this word trickled down Sana’s ear everything of past got flashed back in her mind reminding  her of one person who used to be the best friend the supporter the perfect friend Sana had but then that person fell in love with her which ruined everything there friendship there trust everything, now they hardly used to even look at each other,  that person had even tried to take revenge from Sana but love never dies love stopped him from doing this he was totally mad for her loved her truly madly and deeply though from that day he never said this thing to Sana but Sana knew this thing very well. Was he his enemy now or not he could only think of that person. “ I don’t know may be yes may be no, I mean I cannot understand whether he is my enemy or not” said Sana “Did he ever try to harm you or tried to take revenge from you” , to this Sana had no reply she remained quite the silence made the scholars understand what sought of a matter it was, “look dear it isn’t over yet he will try to harm you in your upcoming life may be he will harm your loved ones as well  that too very badly your dreams your hallucinations says  this, we all could conclude this thing , dear be very careful”. Sana couldn’t believe the scholars were they right or were they wrong, will it happen or not, why will he do this thing to me after all he loves me ,does he really or is he only pretending to his friends ,these all things where revolving around in her head that too very badly, she went home with is brothers telling them that yes it was clutch only she didn’t want then to get worried, at home she was so confused what to do she decided to talk to Mahtab yes Mahtab that was the name of that person she talked to him and said sorry though she never wanted to but to find peace of her mind putting a stone on her heart she made some courage and said sorry. Now she was feeling free and worriless.

Days went by months went by and years went by she was happy in her life though Mahtab was not he still loved him more than anything in this world but for Sana he didn’t matter anymore. They were both living there life separately though sometimes used to say hi hello in the collage as they used to study in a same collage. But they both were busy in their own world Sana didn’t get any further hallucinations from that day when she went to the scholar, strange was it but she was okay with it though she could never forget what they had said.

It was the last day in the college she had completed the graduation and was now quite happy she decided to tell her mom dad that she would go abroad for studies and would settle her future there only. Reaching home she opened the door of her house, as soon as she opened the door a harsh scream came out from her mouth “mom, dad …….mom stand up dad stand up please mom please dad mom dad” the floor was full of blood everywhere someone had killed her mom dad that too so harshly with a knife stabbed several times round there chest stomach and almost everywhere she was a state of alleviation she was feeling frustrated ,foiling she was curbing  weeping harder than ever crying loudly, she was trying to think of calling police but suddenly a note on the table caught her eyes all that was written on it was the word revenge and a long letter with it, as soon as she came across this word she thought of none other than Mahtab. she got reminded of whatever that scholar had said a  years ago without reading the letter further she took out a bag from her wardrobe put a knife in it and his dad’s gun and the letter went to him. Knocked the door of his house she said in a loud voice “why did you do so you dog do you even know what the hell I am going through right now” “what do you think of yourself” “I am sorry it was just for reminding you I can be bad as well, but forgive me I am sorry I won’t do anything like this now I am going faraway look I have packed my stuff even so don’t worry” these words …. Sana before he could speak anything else she pulled the knife out her bag and stabbed him ”Yes indeed you are going far away” she said and as soon as the knife was in his body in a minute or so he was dead. After killing him she felt on the floor shouted loud and louder “why ….why did you do this why” she was totally frustrated weeping crying shouting she took away the dairy from his hands which he holed tightly till death , she turned a few pages  as she wanted to know how cruelly he had murdered her parents there she found a page with heading and the date .

Last day of collage –20th October, 2020

Hi dear dairy, well I want to confess again I love her I love her madly and the worst part is I can do nothing about it, she was my first and the last love and the only one she is the love of my life I don’t know why but I just can’t forget her I don’t want to hurt her but I did mistake today I gave her number to every boy in the collage God now I am releasing I shouldn’t have done this I am feeling so guilty deep inside. She is so happy and what else do I want and yes love is all about letting go, that’s it I will go far away from her life make my own life will love her Always no matter what and will spend rest of my life in her memories.



Sana was totally shattered now in a state of utter dismal she was broken badly she was thinking why she had killed him she was feeling a curse she went to her body and shouted “stand up .. Stand up no you can’t leave me alone no ….. no”  thinking how stupid she could be only, question arrived in her mind who killed her parents then she took out the bag and ……………….. Opened the letter which she had found near the body of her mom dad and all that was written was; and I didn’t spare them to love you more than me they got there award ha ha ha and don’t try to find me I am overseas no one can ever reach to me your one and only brother Saliq! Hahahahahhaha ahahhahah

Reading this she was shattered her whole life she never gave importance to Mahtab Who wanted her, more than anything else , childhood silly fight would end up like this she never thought she was left all alone completely alone no one was there to love her no one to love as well .She was thinking and wishing she had read the letter first she had not done this she was regretting badly but nothing could be done now, so she decided to end up her life as well She took the gun out of the bag pressed the trigger saying” goodbye life”.

“Tring” alarm clock ringing “wake up sweety its morning” her mom said she opened her eyes rubbing them ……………. ! Looked at the calendar 17 Sept 2015 it was all she had dreamed.

Sobiya Mukhtar For Beyond Sanity Publishing


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