Archive for August, 2015

You left
When there was silence instead of laughter
And agony instead of peace
You left
When you had to nibble over the bits of words I spoke…
Whilst you preferred to choke over the long conversations
You left
When there was exasperation instead of affection
You left
When you found a hollow space to sink in with me
And not a beautiful meadow to walk
You left
When you saw my demons winning
And the terrible fears harassing my soul
You left
When you could no longer find a reason to laugh
While I was losing all the cards to live
You left
When you had to pull me from the dungeons
And thought you were the one on edge
You left … and never came back…
Or maybe it was I who made you go
And never called you back
But I could still hear the whines and calls
And full moon awful nights echoing with whimpers
You left and never came back
Or maybe I made you go and never called you back
But it was never a loathed relation
There was love not abhorrence
It could have been sorted and managed
And the agony and burn could have been healed
There had to be tears and complains and fights
But there was a dying sun waiting to be called back
You left and never came back
Or maybe I never called you
But now its too late and too dark honey
There is just this phoenix sitting on the old oak tree
Shedding the golden teary diamonds making the clay freshen
And as the moon comes out to brighten my land
There is a crane sitting alone just on my side
And the breeze blows bringing along evidence and white musk
An autumn leaf from the oak tree
Or a dead black rose from the bush
Settle on the tombstone and burn
You left and never cam back
Or maybe I never called you
You left
When there was no me and just a tombstone to sit beside
When there was regret and no sign of gratitude.

Poem By Areesh Fatmee For Beyond Sanity Publishing

The heartbeats are silent.

Now they don’t speak.

As they once did.

And I feel mine’ll stop dead.

I fear this might be the final farewell.

I see through your eyes

Those conquests of the past,

Those laughters shared,

Those tears we once shed

I fear this might be the final farewell.

We stand still as a world comes to end.

And the world stands still as you nod your head.

I feel like dying, as the distance grows.

Too dead to say, “I love your nose.”

I fear this might be the final farewell.

But now, words don’t have significance.

And neither do any gestures.

I’ve lost all meaningfulness,

And so has your existence.

I fear this might be the final farewell.

Your eyes are giving away your secrets.

Contain them; your tears, your murmurs.

Keep your affection safe in your eyes

And keep me in your heart, forever by your side.

I fear this might be the final farewell.

Let me sink into your eyes

Let me drown in your smile

Let me feel your words

Let me stay right here

I fear this might be the final farewell.

Just give me a sign, a whistle.

Tell me your worries.

I swear I’ll be there to listen

Once more, I will be there to fix em.

I fear this might be the final farewell.

I know I’ll miss the way you talked,

I’ll miss those jokes that we laughed on.

I guess mostly, I’ll miss today.

But, I need courage, “goodbye!”, to say.

I fear this might be the final farewell.

Poem by Sarmed Wasim For Beyond Sanity Publishing

Come honey,
There is no good going to happen alone.
Together, we can live the disaster.
Alone its going to be a dreadful trauma.
Come love.
There is no light in these dungeons,
Together we can walk with our eyes closed.
Alone I stumble over my fears now and then.
Come sweetheart.
There is no sleep and no peace.
Together we can keep awake all night.
Alone my soul is paralyzed.
Or maybe you can stay where you are.
Whilst I dread about the omens.
And with the illusions and imagination
Or maybe you can let the potion of hate drowning my body.
Or you can live happily with joy and euphoria.
But there is no living here with me .
I mean you took away my life .
So you can come back my love and enjoy the frames of my miseries
Or you can put the rose at the tombstone and laugh away the pain.!

Areesh Fatmee For Beyond Sanity Publishing

“Will you just get out of my room”, she screamed “No I won’t, do whatever you can” he shouted. Cock fights were very common between Sana and her brother Saliq day and night they used to fight on pity issues, there was always a fight going on between them. “Mom please get him out ,dad please come here”, Sana shouted at her full voice “what happened dear stopping shouting” , her mother said taking a step forward her mother angrily bursting upon Saliq said “get out let her study and you too do the same, go in your room “, “ah I know mum, you love her more than  me but I can’t help it ,say whatever you want I hate you both for loving her more than me”, “oh dear , okay fine we love her more than you ,okay with it? Now move out” she said, Saliq  giving an angry look to his mother he moved out banging the door, whispering to himself “I will not spare you for this”. And the fight was over finally, passing a smile she said to Sana “Sana he is your younger brother you should take care of him you know he is stubborn you know this very well still, God be with you both, I am tired of your fights now”. “Mom just chill he is like that only anyway I may take some rest now”. Sana said. Taking her pillow and blanket over head she bluff herself on bed asking her mother “mom what date is today?” “It’s 16  sept 2015 sleep now and keep your phone aside its 11 now” and she  closed her eyes to sleep .Soon she was in a deep sweet sleep. Sana was an individualistic type girl she didn’t use to care about what people said and used to live her life freely, she was in her teen age and had beauty with brains. Suddenly she woke up and this was for the third time this thing had happened with her ,she was sweating badly unable to move tormenting  with her bad condition she finally stood up and drank some water, she ran quickly to her mother and said “Mo….m, again it happened with me I don’t know what is this all I just don’t … please help me” her mother observing her erroneous condition asked her to sit and relax and saying “oh dear it’s all about tension, disquietedness  and anxiety don’t worry you will be fine soon” “it isn’t about tension and all its something different why don’t you understand?” “It is just nothing but the result of worrying a lot and yes your novels, you keep reading them day and night stop that and you will see the change”, Sana perfectly understood that her mother was not going to understand any little bit of what she is trying to verbalize , so she went out and said “I wish you could ever understand me”, and went to his brother “ah let us stop our fight for a while I need to tell you something” Sana said “okay done than we will continue the fight” Saliq said, sitting with him on the bed she started “Do you think seriously I have any sought of tension anxiety or anything else that the doctor has said and what mom keeps musing?”  “Well not at all, I guess” his brother replied. “I don’t know what to do , seeing blood in dreams and then waking up all of a sudden unable to breathe unable to move feeling of death ,how can this be tension” .,Sana sad in a sad tone. “I think we should go to well-known scholar who can help you out with it “said Saliq.

A very strange thing was happening with Sana these days she used to go to sleep and after a while of sleep used to have a break through experience, seeing a peculiar  place in her dream, blood everywhere on the streets and people ebbing and shouting this was what she was seeing in her dreams from last two three days, it wasn’t this thing that was bothering her what was bothering her was even more perplexing  ,later  when she used to try to wake up she wasn’t able to do so at all she was a sought of caught in that world of dreams, she used to wriggle and thrash with both the worlds the dreamy one and the real one she used to try to get out of dreamy world and enter reality but she always strife and finally skirmishing she used to wake up in an adheres condition sweating and breathless  used to feel the pain as if she was really in some world.

Keeping all things in her mind she finally decided to go to some scholar with his elder cousin and brother. They too decided to accompany her they went to place where this scholar lived it was a dark side place almost in an extreme of a village where no one used to go and come very often. Entering the place with fear she looked around the room there wasn’t the scholar only but the whole team some old ladies perhaps she could guess by their face they too were scholars and some old men too .knocking the door of the room where everyone was busy in work and looking to her brothers she said “can we come in” at the very moment everything in the room paused for a while every face was looking at Sana now,  there was deep dark silence in the room and after a minute or so one lady replied as if knowing what she had come seeking for “only you come in rest wait outside”. Sana went in with a fear and his brothers went in waiting room .the lady asked her to sit on the chair which was placed in the middle of the room as soon as Sana sat down on that chair the scholar said “be clear and speak whatever is in your mind’’ listening to this she started abruptly all things that she was going through the scary dreams and her parents and doctor thinking it was just the tension she spitted out everything, after sometime scholar said in deep tone “do you have enemies?” As soon as this word trickled down Sana’s ear everything of past got flashed back in her mind reminding  her of one person who used to be the best friend the supporter the perfect friend Sana had but then that person fell in love with her which ruined everything there friendship there trust everything, now they hardly used to even look at each other,  that person had even tried to take revenge from Sana but love never dies love stopped him from doing this he was totally mad for her loved her truly madly and deeply though from that day he never said this thing to Sana but Sana knew this thing very well. Was he his enemy now or not he could only think of that person. “ I don’t know may be yes may be no, I mean I cannot understand whether he is my enemy or not” said Sana “Did he ever try to harm you or tried to take revenge from you” , to this Sana had no reply she remained quite the silence made the scholars understand what sought of a matter it was, “look dear it isn’t over yet he will try to harm you in your upcoming life may be he will harm your loved ones as well  that too very badly your dreams your hallucinations says  this, we all could conclude this thing , dear be very careful”. Sana couldn’t believe the scholars were they right or were they wrong, will it happen or not, why will he do this thing to me after all he loves me ,does he really or is he only pretending to his friends ,these all things where revolving around in her head that too very badly, she went home with is brothers telling them that yes it was clutch only she didn’t want then to get worried, at home she was so confused what to do she decided to talk to Mahtab yes Mahtab that was the name of that person she talked to him and said sorry though she never wanted to but to find peace of her mind putting a stone on her heart she made some courage and said sorry. Now she was feeling free and worriless.

Days went by months went by and years went by she was happy in her life though Mahtab was not he still loved him more than anything in this world but for Sana he didn’t matter anymore. They were both living there life separately though sometimes used to say hi hello in the collage as they used to study in a same collage. But they both were busy in their own world Sana didn’t get any further hallucinations from that day when she went to the scholar, strange was it but she was okay with it though she could never forget what they had said.

It was the last day in the college she had completed the graduation and was now quite happy she decided to tell her mom dad that she would go abroad for studies and would settle her future there only. Reaching home she opened the door of her house, as soon as she opened the door a harsh scream came out from her mouth “mom, dad …….mom stand up dad stand up please mom please dad mom dad” the floor was full of blood everywhere someone had killed her mom dad that too so harshly with a knife stabbed several times round there chest stomach and almost everywhere she was a state of alleviation she was feeling frustrated ,foiling she was curbing  weeping harder than ever crying loudly, she was trying to think of calling police but suddenly a note on the table caught her eyes all that was written on it was the word revenge and a long letter with it, as soon as she came across this word she thought of none other than Mahtab. she got reminded of whatever that scholar had said a  years ago without reading the letter further she took out a bag from her wardrobe put a knife in it and his dad’s gun and the letter went to him. Knocked the door of his house she said in a loud voice “why did you do so you dog do you even know what the hell I am going through right now” “what do you think of yourself” “I am sorry it was just for reminding you I can be bad as well, but forgive me I am sorry I won’t do anything like this now I am going faraway look I have packed my stuff even so don’t worry” these words …. Sana before he could speak anything else she pulled the knife out her bag and stabbed him ”Yes indeed you are going far away” she said and as soon as the knife was in his body in a minute or so he was dead. After killing him she felt on the floor shouted loud and louder “why ….why did you do this why” she was totally frustrated weeping crying shouting she took away the dairy from his hands which he holed tightly till death , she turned a few pages  as she wanted to know how cruelly he had murdered her parents there she found a page with heading and the date .

Last day of collage –20th October, 2020

Hi dear dairy, well I want to confess again I love her I love her madly and the worst part is I can do nothing about it, she was my first and the last love and the only one she is the love of my life I don’t know why but I just can’t forget her I don’t want to hurt her but I did mistake today I gave her number to every boy in the collage God now I am releasing I shouldn’t have done this I am feeling so guilty deep inside. She is so happy and what else do I want and yes love is all about letting go, that’s it I will go far away from her life make my own life will love her Always no matter what and will spend rest of my life in her memories.

-Mahtab

………………………………….

Sana was totally shattered now in a state of utter dismal she was broken badly she was thinking why she had killed him she was feeling a curse she went to her body and shouted “stand up .. Stand up no you can’t leave me alone no ….. no”  thinking how stupid she could be only, question arrived in her mind who killed her parents then she took out the bag and ……………….. Opened the letter which she had found near the body of her mom dad and all that was written was; and I didn’t spare them to love you more than me they got there award ha ha ha and don’t try to find me I am overseas no one can ever reach to me your one and only brother Saliq! Hahahahahhaha ahahhahah

Reading this she was shattered her whole life she never gave importance to Mahtab Who wanted her, more than anything else , childhood silly fight would end up like this she never thought she was left all alone completely alone no one was there to love her no one to love as well .She was thinking and wishing she had read the letter first she had not done this she was regretting badly but nothing could be done now, so she decided to end up her life as well She took the gun out of the bag pressed the trigger saying” goodbye life”.

“Tring” alarm clock ringing “wake up sweety its morning” her mom said she opened her eyes rubbing them ……………. ! Looked at the calendar 17 Sept 2015 it was all she had dreamed.

Sobiya Mukhtar For Beyond Sanity Publishing

The hot cappuccino mug in my hands
I idly raise the volume of Bach tune
There’s a tattered old diary full of letters
And I move my fingers feeling the words
I can hear your soft voice in my ears…
There is agony and protest and I gasp
The parchments close to my face
I can feel you beside me or is it the white musk?
And somewhere in the background I hear the clouds thunder
And my fingers burned by the cappuccino
And my heart washed away by the steam
But there is still something I am missing
As I look deeper into the thin slanting handwriting
I can see few words meaning a galaxy to me
But the ink has dried by now and the tears has smeared up them
But honey, before the fragrance dies away
And my soul residing in wisps away
Come back and pour some ink
My soul tremors and my lips tremble
There is too much agony that paralyzes me
Write a good-bye note but come and write
And the hot cappuccino mug in my hands
And I now idly raise the volume of Bach tune
There’s a tattered old diary full of letters
And I move my fingers feeling the words
And your voice fading away.

Areesh Fatmee For Beyond Sanity Publishing

                The man stared at the splintered wood scattered across the floor.  Everything was broken into tiny pieces.  He looked to his left.  There was a gaping hole where the front window used to be.  Now, bits of shattered glass were the only reminders of what had been there for so many years.

                He thought of how he used to look out into the street and see the neighbors every day.  They would be outside in their garden when it was springtime, or enjoying the sun when it was too hot to stay inside a stuffy house.  He remembered children playing when snow littered the ground.  He saw children raking leaves in the short days of autumn.

                But that was gone now.

                The man wandered over to the other wall, over to where the pictures had been.  He reached out with one bony finger and touched the empty place on the wall.  It was the only thing he wanted to remember.  The only thing he needed to remember.

                And it wasn’t there anymore.

                The picture was gone, along with all of his family’s antiques, jewelry, and valuables.  The only things left were in ruin.  Lamps were overturned, and mutilated books littered the floor.  All of his family pictures had been ripped away from the wall, and smashed violently to the floor.

                He looked down as his sneakered feet crunched over something.  He was walking on broken glass.  But there was something under the shards.  The man stepped back and stooped down.  There, beneath the glass was the picture, lying dead and abandoned like a corpse.  He carefully picked up the faded photograph.  Three people were there.  On the left was a woman.  She was neither young nor old.  Her smile seemed to fill up the whole scene.  She wore a simple blue dress, and her dark, curly hair was pulled into a bun at the top of her head.  Her blue eyes were alight with a happiness that she would not feel again.

                “Jill,” he whispered.

                The man looked away.  There was another girl in the picture, too.  She was about ten years old, with long, brown pigtails and pink, blushing cheeks.  The girl was smiling too, only it was a shy smile.  She was holding onto her mother’s other hand.

                The man tore his eyes away from her and this time looked at the person on the right.  It was a man with dark hair and brown eyes.  He was smiling too.  But not as much as his wife.  The man’s arm was around her shoulders and she was laughing.  She was clutching his sleeve, as if he could protect her from the camera’s flash.  But there was nothing he could protect her from anymore.

                The man in the picture wore a brown coat.  The same coat was now strewn across one of the ripped sofas in the parlor.  The man looked toward it, but didn’t pick it up.  He didn’t have the strength.

                He stood up with the photograph still in his hand.  He slid it into his pocket to keep it safe.  The other pictures were still buried in glass but this one was his favorite.

                The man slowly walked into what had been the side kitchen.  A smashed milk carton lay on one side of the room, with a few drops of milk spilling out.  The faint smell of old milk stayed within the room.  It didn’t travel to the other parts of the house.  All of the chairs were overturned and the table was actually lying in a heap at the center of the room, mangled and broken.  His home was in ruin and they would be back soon. They always noticed everything.  Even the extra person in all of the pictures.

                They would be back for him.

                He left the destroyed kitchen and grabbed his brown coat off of the ruined sofa.  He then wandered to the hole where the front window used to be.  The man’s feet crunched over the noisy glass as he walked.  He shivered against the cold wind that the hole let in.

                In the distance, the man saw people.  But they were not worried or fearful.  They were not hiding.  They were not running or crying, and so the man knew who they were.

                He sat cross legged on the floor where he still had a good view of the intruders.  He eased the brown coat over his shoulders just as he saw the red and black symbol of a swastika on the soldier’s jackets.

                He took the picture out of his pocket and waited.

 Jennifer Christensen For Beyond Sanity Publishing

 “Since Then, She Was Never The Same Again “

Just as she left me,unsaid & undone with no milestone .I don’t even remember the day,not even time or I never wanted to remember as a matter of fact.

 All i know is,I was left undone for whole life to come.

  She had to leave,so did she.

  My heart posed many a questions, I hardly could answer any of them. In fact I couldn’t any of them, for I was left unexplained

   As I lifted my steps forth, I felt the marrow of my bosom getting chilled. I was hell frozen. As the cool breeze passed through the trees along-side road.

  Out of the blue, the shower of drizzle added some sort of solace to my deserted life.

 Now I could cry my tears out.I did.

Ahhh!

  My eyes gazed at no other thing, “For her flashes kept reflecting with each falling drop”.

  I could feel my eyes perceiving rain.

 The Sky was all full of blood tales,hidden

   So was mine one among them,(Getting unfolded that day).

  The clouds were all set free from shackles, low & hairy .

  I could see them tending forth to meet their fate.

  For,

“The life of clouds is a parting & a meeting”.

  I was left with “no me” anymore. 

I tried to console myself, I hardly could, I fumbled.

 My heart being too frail would hardly listen to me,”So did it that day”.

 It kept recalling all that,which never happened or was still to get done.

  The drizzling packed some pace & I could hardly hearken my murmuring.

  “The tough of the toughest phase of my life,I was creeping through”. I believe.

   “Why this had to happen with me? Was i this bad? Was i such an ugly faced? Could destiny be cruel like this? Was she made for someone other,better than me? Is everything over & done with? Is this a nightmare or daydream? “

These questions kept striking my mind.

  I tried to convince myself with each bit of mine, But,

 Alas! My poorself was never used to rely on feigning.

  The fact was ,that, “We were no longer one.”

That oneness in us had fled away somewhere,”I don’t know where”.

  She no longer belonged to me thereafter.

 

“She no longer cares for me. She’s gone. I was loner now”.

     “A wanderer,Indeed”

Perhaps a mere kiss was never all that.

A mere hug never meant that “warm embrace of love”.

 Those soft taunts & serene scolds never meant she cared for me ever. “Perhaps!”

 Those night talks & hangouts never meant ,she loved or missed me ever, “Perhaps!”

  Her laughter on every silly joke of mine, “The height of my craziness to make her laugh more”,never meant she needed me by her side ever, “Perhaps!”

  The way she’d end up downing her lids on gazing,with a glimpse of her giggle,never meant i was part of her life ever, “Perhaps!”

  She’s happy now, happy in her own world. Apart from me.

  For those marked oaths were just few misspoken words for her.

  Although

 ” Promises are made to be broken”

 She holds the discernment over every decision.

   I was no-one to guide her through. 

For,perhaps I was at fault, “I may be”.

 For my only fault was “Loving Her”.

 Perhaps I Was Just Hard To Love.
“My Friend”,she was in relationship with now,

 Yes ! You got it right, She was in relationship with my friend.

 My Friend (More than a brother),whom I trusted more than any damn thing in this world.

With whom I used to share almost every damn thing.

Be it cracking gags , be it serious issues, Every damn thing

He had  been wearing fake mask from a long while.

Hell ! Does friendship really exist in this world ? I wonder

How could he prove this much disloyal? He broke me into pieces

 It was damn inconvincing , but fact though.

 Ahhh, Gosh ! It stretched my hallucination as I came across the fact, It did

 I hardly could bear this burden,intolerable as such.Yet holding on this agony.

  The shit has been cooking between them precisely after the month she came into my world,my life.

 I couldn’t even smell it, Hell! I’ve often been odd at odor.

 Or Say it like “she made it feel odorless to me & hooked up hours as fragrance”.

  I was betrayed, ditched & burried deepen shrouds long ago.

 My love was merely a bunch of cracking feelings for her & I was merely a toy she used to play with. As obvious I’ve been

  Argghhhh ! It gave rise to exasperation in me , I was no longer in my senses , the nerve-chilling incident ( Call it) broke me with the rain,”that kept gushing from the gulf of my heart”.

  I was all shuddering with chill, shivering to bones.

That whole mocking did leave a deep impact on my bruised soul,the perpetual scar”.

  What was I hoping from her ?

Couple a texts , few hoopbells, A confession ending up at “SORRY” , a letter fired up with “I Love You” ??

 Ahhaa Damn! These things sound better in books & movies & blahh blahhh

 I could rarely identify myself,

I was lost in her thoughts , i could feel her beside me.

I took a cigarette out of the Cigarette packet, kept in the front pocket of my jeans , lit it & turned the  whole atmosphere smoky. I kept smoking pipes one by one,till I was high

Smoke intensified the burden in my eyes, My eyes started itching, turning out to be crimson as those of a drunkard .                                By the time,heap of ashes kissed my feet. The pipes were overlying one another, bundle of pipes,so many in numbers (Though i didn’t calculate ), crossing almost 40’s.

Her thoughts were drawing  me deepen down in the dumps. I was hell torn apart.

“Laughing out at me , putting her arms around me & holding me tight.” I could feel the warmth of her embrace, the fragrance of her soul.

I could feel the soft touch of her glittering lips. “Those magical words”, “I could feel her uttering those words with highness & shyness”.

The lust in her eyes,I could feel that,

The pain in her tears,I could feel that.

 I could sculpt her up by summing up each thought & setting them right,(Though not being Sculptor)

 I was all drowned in her thoughts.
All of sudden I got a call from friend,

 

“Noh Noh! Not that one,”THE NEW LOVE OF MY BELOVED” ,

It wasnt Him, You took it wrong.

It was my dearest friend (Cousin more than a friend)

 I picked up his call,
He : Heyyy! Where you’ve been man? I need to discuss some important issue with you?

Guess what, I’m in love man ( His smile busted out with extreme excitement,one could feel), 

I mean we are in love, yes! You got me right bro, She approved my proposal. I’m so happy, flying like a love bird.

 Wanna meet uh ASAP(yoyo )
Me : Ahhh ! Lucky you man 

 I’m happy for you.
He: Hey! you sounding so low.

Are you Okay? I guess Not

 Tell me Where are You?
Me : Array No, Imma bit under weather, flu caught me up,so that’s why sounding a bit low may be ( i replied in quite low tone,pretended to be okay)
He: Hope so man. Come soon

 Between tell you what,We’re going for a date (ahemmmmm), 

she’s like an angel for me, her angelic eyes resembles with your “Ladylove” .

Ahh! Lucky us to be blessed with such angels. 

Suggest me some outfit,For you’re seraphic at it.

  Moreover I forgot to ask you about your ladylove, 

How is She(Ahmmmm Ahmmm Ahmmm) ? My boy ! your love is reaching heights with each passing day (hahahah)

 By the way Where are you? How much time will it take you to be here ?? Waiting haan ? Meet me & let us have a bang ( He being much talkative set forth his excitement)
Me : Ahhhh ! Well she’s fine, shee , Sheee….. She’s fine I tell you Sheee,Shee must be fine, She’s fine.

She’s living good, She ought to be fine (My tongue waffled for a moment under the burden of tears, )

(Until I gained a bit composure)

 Haan , haan I’m coming

 Coming in a flash(Tears were all set to outburst)
He: Hey broda ? What happened,? Tell me ?

 Baat Kya hai ( What’s wrong)?  I can smell something odd cooking there, what are you hiding from me ?? 

 Dammit tell me What’s wrong?

 I’m tensed.

Kaminey Ro Mat , Tell me kisi ne kuch kaha ( Don’t cry you idiot, did something Happen)? Uss se jagda hua (Referring to my ladylove) ?? Usne kuch kaha? (Did you two have a fight? )

Hua kyaaaaaaa?? Tell me please tell me ( He caught my tears(Ahh these cellphones,couldn’t it pause for a while till I was done with tears),He knew I was broken,deserted,so damn high & dry. Ahhh! I could feel the tears in his eyes too)
Me: I don’t know where I’m ( crying with pain,I really was stuck at some far off place)

(Her thoughts kept blowing my mind hard”, nothing was working right for me)

Bhai! I don’t know where I am, 

I am , I am . . . ,I am hell broken, I’m dying with pain !

(Ahhh! For the misery had bound me with no exit)

Shee left . . ( Phone disconnected, battery drained off)

Ahhhh ! My bad time was worsening with each split-second

I was all shattered forlorn, left with scattered dreams.

 While getting back to her reminiscence, I could feel her oaths pinching my soul.

 Woven with stitches.

 It was like treading upon Thorny boulevards, pricking on each step.

  Her departure gave rise to blisters in my breast & her betrayal acted as a thorn,pricking the blisters to raise the pain

 

Ironic! Yes my situation was hell ironic.

  Death was the only Cure for me, I believe.

  I kept holding on those tears untill they could hardly resist the burden anymore, i finally let them dry off

 I screamed & yelled aloud., 

 I cried my red tears dry

Till drought came slow & deep,

As deep as endless love

I was bewildered by the question, “Shall I hold on or Let her go?”
Though “LETTING GO” aint this easy as it sounds 

  

Finally I opted to Wait Till The Tempest Calms Down, “May Be Never !”

 By somehow I managed to reach home, Lately But Reached

For “Coming Lately” being my daily schedule

 Ahhh ! I missed it,when , “she’d hoop my phone up just to assure “I reached home safely”.

 She now even don’t care at all.This was Goddamn fact I ought to accept with tattered heart (Turning To be Golden).

  

I grew stronger with each passing day. For I was all done , Having nothing to care about anymore.  Lost my bliss , my precious dreams which i kept dreaming every now & then. “It was the moment when there was nothing left to wait for”.

 For day would bring her close to me & night would bring her in my dreams Our closure meant worth a thousand million worlds to us.

” There was nothing left to lose “

 She fired me out of her life alike spit.

“I guess she won’t even agonized me, if we ever crossed our ways or met with co-incidence”.

  This twinge is sharp wedged, it kept churning down my hopes.

  “She won’t miss me”? Oh Lord! How could one alter this much”

 “Alter in ego?? “

“No no , it is just a mere whim of mine “, i tried to console my poorself.

  Its been years,  

   2,3,4. . . . .

She’s yet mine in my dreams. Dreams are my besties , they being reliable , never let me down as such. I wish to live my other half in dreams,for, that’s (dreams) the only place i find her beside me. 

A pen in my hand would never expunge her from my reminiscence.               

  

        Later,
Few days back, i saw her waiting for bus near the bus stand.

                                   Ah God ! I still remember her killing looks, “Sparkling Innocence in each bit”,                                                                                                                                                                                                 

She was,”Dressed in Green”, ‘though Green being never her favorite’,

(Although Mine), 

With glasses,suiting her tempting eyes

                        (Those eyes yet gushing life)                         

  That Glory has intensified with time. She was looking out of this World, so damn gorgeous, beyond the bounds of beauty. Highly Personified.

  To be fair enough ” Words can’t sum up her glory”.

While gazing at her, these lines stroke my mind:

 “I felt life On Clasping Her Gaze ,

 But her gaze was never the same,

Eye To Eye Was Just Not Enough,

Heart To Heart was alike Chalk & Cheeze “

Ahhh! She drew her head off as if I was never known to her. “Strangers  For No Good Cause”.

It hurts when someone shuns you for some unknown, untold logic.” Though No strong logic for me, for i was left unexplained for my remaining half”.  Verily It hurts.It did hurt me a lot.

  She Shook her head(in regret), as if some ominous was about to happen.

I could grasp her gestures cursing me,Saying ” O Woe To You Demon! Your Shade Spoils My Way”.

That Grimace on looking at me, i cant omit ever.
And in a while,Bus rode along the road 

She even didnt bid “Bye”to me,
Ahhhh! She didn’t look back just even once, not even half (Although She should have)

She was altered. She was never the same anymore

I witnessed alter-ego in her traits

My love was gone. Died out & burried.  I was much like forgotten land. 

Ahhh ! My hands were trembling ,I sighed frozen sigh & moved back to my home that day. Her alteration set ablaze my soul, till dusk broke out ,the sky was veiled by clouds , The dark clouds patrolling alike spies, striking each other with immense pace.                                                                      As the hours passed , i had a night full of rain,  till the sleep overtook me.     

I miss the way she’d hid me under the shade of her odorous yet unfixed tangles

I miss everything about her

About Us,

I Miss Her,

I Miss My Life,

I Wish To Reach Her Someday,

I Wish Her To Be Mine Again Someday,

I’m Keenly Waiting For This “SOMEDAY”,

I’ll Keep Waiting For This “SOMEDAY”

  Untill I Die,

 “SOMEDAY”

S. Zumair For Beyond Sanity Publishing